So the money on my meal plan is disappearing at an alarming rate. Either I’m eating more than I think I am, or the dishes I am purchasing are more expensive because they contain meat and other snobby, healthy ingredients (because we all know a plate of fries and pizza would be the cheapest route, but hell if I’d go down it).
My response? Well, being that I’m in Seattle, there are wonderful vegetarian/vegan options offered both in my cafeteria and in the surrounding city restaurants. I’ve never honestly given vegetarianism much of a try, so why not? I mean, my school is also the place to be a meat-eater because they provide from farms that use few to no hormones and antibiotics, and the eggs are supplied from cage-free chickens; however, I’m sure the money available to me will cease to decrease at such a high rate if I remove meat from my diet, and I am interested to see what my body would feel like.
Anyway, today was the official Day 1.
2:16 pm • 13 October 2012
The environment was changed but not the situation.
Pleasure is wonderful, yes.
But what is a bottle of wine if I am not waking up happily next to my beloved the following morning?
What is a cookie if it is not simply a round of chocolate and sugar?
There is no excuse, no excuse anymore; not when I understand so clearly what’s at stake.
I love you, baby; I love you, I love you, and still.
2:48 am • 12 October 2012
Confession: I once had a dance party by myself in one of my host-room’s during my exchange year in Germany.
11:35 pm • 11 October 2012 • 1 note
Just opened a bottle of white wine, which a Swedish traveler whom I met through work gifted me. I’m celebrating my night off from work.
White wine makes me feel like a woman. I am Sofia Loren.
11:02 pm • 11 October 2012
My, oh my, how life never seems to settle down. I suppose it would be different if I was moving around and experiencing all these new things with the same group of people, but now little pieces of my heart are scattered around the globe. I just, I feel no longing to really put myself out there very much, not right now. I’d honestly much rather stay in my room, doing my homework, sleeping maybe, and make the money I need to visit Mario this Christmas. As long as my new job eventually starts paying me (I haven’t been getting paid to train), then I should have enough for a roundtrip ticket by the middle or end of November. Although December is really only two months away, it seems so far. College is a lot more work than I’d realized beforehand; I mean, I knew it would be more demanding than high school, and thankfully at that, but it’s definitely a change in pace coming from my exchange year.
Of course, my issues with food always find their way into things; the thoughts are always lingering in my mind. I’ve become a feeling-eater- as in, I eat my feelings. Having given up cigarettes and purging, I’m dealing with weight issues now, but I am unsure how to go about losing the weight. No, that’s not true, I know of a diet I can do… The problem to overcome is finding the strength to commit to the diet.
12:06 am • 23 September 2012
And strength regained
in the Hofgarten, with my iPod, my diary, and the sun.
It’s unbelievable how keeping a diary has helped me this year to realize so many things that have been escaping me for so long.
5:28 pm • 21 June 2012
A high, lost
I suppose that’s why they’re called highs. Like, on a graph; the very highest point exists only momentarily, then the graph procedes to decline, going reverse into the direction from which it came.
Oh baby, I was feeling so good, I was feeling so good. Perhaps one week, two weeks long of clarity and extreme mental growth, and happiness. But this state I’d achieved was more fragile than I had expected, and a few glasses of wine washed it away.
I mean, I’m all right now, too, but it’s not the same as that high I was hoping to maintain, at least until I was back in the United States, or at least until my Italian was hear to visit me. I don’t feel… lovable, like this.
6:01 am • 21 June 2012
Anonymous asked: Will you marry Ryan Auberson-Walsh? He'd like that a lot.
why yes, I think I will, in Sydney
3:55 am • 21 June 2012